You just have to laugh....

Sometimes you just need to shake your head and laugh, otherwise you will just start crying and give up all hope. I won’t, but you pussies will.

No doubt many will be horribly offended and turned off (further) off by this but I don’t care. Some things just need to be said. I have often stated that “stupidity brings out the bastard in me” and this is some monumental stupidity – dare I say, even more stupid than the stupidity that comes from many leftists – so expect some monumental bastardry from me.

I want to draw your attention to Michael Cooper’s latest article about the moron who suffered well deserved (but far too non-life threatening) injuries playing the Choking Game. It is also called Space Monkey, Flatliner, Pass Out, and Black Out, and the object is to cut off blood and oxygen to the brain so the person loses consciousness and then gets a high while regaining consciousness as blood and oxygen rush back to the brain.


Just sit back and think about that. Let it really seep in. These fucking morons are choking each other into unconsciousness as some kind of game.

Have you got a handle on just how stupid that is? And not just in a “Yes that is a stupid thing to do” kind of way. These stupid little shits are CUTTING OFF BLOOD AND OXYGEN TO THEIR BRAINS AS A GAME.

Now, Cooper sent me some links in an email. I clicked on this link and it took me awhile to register what was going on, but when I did, I shook my head and burst out laughing. All those dumb shits on that page had CHOKED TO DEATH playing that stupid GAME!

I think to myself, “No. That can’t be right. This level of stupidity cannot be that endemic.”

Then I saw the title of the page. Choking Game Angels! I burst out laughing again. Choking Game Angels? I don’t think so. Choking Game Stupid Assholes is more apt.

Now I’m no theologian so correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t suicide considered a mortal sin? And as such, anyone who commits suicide is doomed to Hell in which case they are most certainly not angels, right? You’ve heard of suicide by cop? Well these dipshits are dead due to suicide by stupidity, and thus are certainly not angels, having been sent to the wrong place.

And don’t try and feed me any bullshit about them not knowing they could die from choking. I knew it at 5 years old and they knew it too. And one of them was 25 YEARS OLD!?!

Now let me share something from Cooper’s email with you:


When I brought this up to my daughters, they laughed and agreed that it was simply retarded. I know people love to use the phrase "If it can happen to my child, it can happen to anyone's." Bullshit. It will never happen to mine because I'm not a self-absorbed yuppie prick who is too busy trying to acquire more things and ignoring my kids in the process.


Exactly. It would never happen to his daughters because he is a parent who takes the time to properly educate and instruct his daughters in order to ensure they don’t grow up to be morons.

My parents took the time to ensure (with a ruler or wooden spoon when need be) both myself and my siblings didn’t grow up to be morons who play strangling games.

It is tragic when some kid is hit by car. It is tragic when a child drowns in a pool because the parents weren’t supervising. It is tragic when a child dies of a terminal illness. But don’t expect me to mourn the loss of morons who go around deliberately depriving their brains of blood and oxygen as a stupid game. That is nothing but the junior division of the Darwin Awards.

Take a look at these two retards:

Look closely and you'll see that the moron doing the choking is wearing one of those patented "I'm a retard" yellow Lance Armstrong bracelets! Can Coop pick them or what?


Now what better way to deal with these morons than to make money by exploiting them? And so I'd like to reveal the next must-have item for Teenage Chokers. Exclusive to The Asylum, let me introduce you to the Space Monkey Thrill Enhancer:

Available for only $24.95, this teen boredom killer is guaranteed to give you a game that will never be surpassed. Leftists are also strongly encouraged to give it a try. We have never had a single return or customer complaint - it is that good. Operators are standing by right now to take your call.

(cross-posted at The Asylum)

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